fter three months of dating, 23-year-old Michael was optimistic about his relationship with Linda*. Michael and Linda mutually agreed that they wanted to move forward in the relationship.
They were together often, and he'd even met her parents. He dropped her off at home, kissed her goodnight ... After his attempts to reach her went unanswered, Michael put on his cute-guy hat and delivered Linda's favorite cupcakes to her office -- only to find out his name had been removed from the guest list at the gate. The term "ghosting" (sometimes known as the "slow fade") refers to the anecdotally pervasive act where one dater ends a relationship by simply disappearing.
(The Discovery Channel has yet to confirm the anecdote, but current 20-somethings speculate as much.) But in an era of Tinder, OKCupid, JSwipe and Hinge, matchmaking often happens by swiping right and left, making potential daters literally disposable.
The ease of app and online dating has allowed ghosting to take new form.
I asked my dad about this experience, and here’s how he described it: he told his parents he was ready to get married, so his family arranged meetings with three neighboring families. That’s how my dad decided on the person with whom he was going to spend the rest of his life.
I am perpetually indecisive about even the most mundane things, and I couldn’t imagine navigating such a huge life decision so quickly. Happily so—and probably more so than most people I know who had nonarranged marriages.
Since then I've been working to build a place for lesbians to meet, talk, learn about each other, and (with any luck! In their responses, I found 10 words that kept coming up again and again.Whether it’s where I’m eating, where I’m traveling or, God forbid, something I’m buying, like a lot of people in my generation—those in their 20s and 30s—I feel compelled to do a ton of research to make sure I’m getting every option and then making the best choice.If this mentality pervades our decisionmaking in so many realms, is it also affecting how we choose a romantic partner?Because, with facebook of sex, will find you local singles who are looking for sex tonight quickly.Just imagine how much fun it will be to hookup with 3 different girls every week.Chelsea, a 25-year-old Manhattanite who has been both a ghost and a ghostee says the fast-paced, onto-the-next mentality of online dating makes the need for an "it's not me, it's you," conversation irrelevant.